UK narrowly avoids triple-dipstick chancellor
(satire)
The chancellor George Osborne has defied his critics by narrowly managing to avoid being called a dipstick for a third time.
The news came as economic experts praised Mr Osborne’s successful efforts at avoiding the boom and bust of the Gordon Brown years by killing off and flatlining the UK economy completely.
However, some economists are sounding a word of caution after data indicated that government proficiency is contracting at a quarterly rate of around 1%, suggesting that the Chancellor himself could act as a major drag on economic growth in the next quarter of 2013.
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Related articles by Tom Pride:
Osborne claims Thatcher “over the worst” and well on way to “full recovery”
George Osborne Is Not A Wanker – He’s A Genius!
George Osborne faces calls from leading economists for U-turn on fecklessness
More People Believe In Loch Ness Monster Than In Osborne’s Ability To Run Economy
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