(satire – barely)
THE Tories have pledged they will abolish their unconvincing human rights act and start acting like the callous bunch of heartless bastards they really are if the Conservative Party wins the next general election, Justice Secretary Chris Grayling pledged yesterday.
He vowed the Act – which entails Conservative leaders and MPs desperately trying to convince voters that they wouldn’t sell their own grandmothers to a Taiwanese sweatshop if it meant they could make a few quid – will be dropped and party members could all go back to only giving a toss about themselves if the Conservatives win a majority in 2015.
Mr Grayling said:
It’s becoming clear that we cannot go on with the present frustrating and unsatisfactory situation where we have to keep making out we give a shit about things. That’s why it is essential we dramatically curtail this ineffective act that…
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